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About Me:

"THE FIRST SIGHT OF DAYLIGHT/

I WAS BORN INTO A FIGHT/

JONDIS KEPT ME HOSPITALIZED/

IT SYMBOLIZED MY PLIGHT/

A SCARED CHILD WITH A SECRETIVE MIND THAT NOBODY KNOWS/

I HID IN THE BASEMENT WITH MY BIBLE/

BEHIND THE BARRELS AND CLOTHES/

TEARS FELL AS I STRUGGLED TO SWALLOW THIS LUMP IN MY THROAT/

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY INVISIBLE FRIENDS WERE ANGELS THAT ONCE SPOKE/

I BEEN CALLED STRANGE AND OTHER THINGS/

BY MY OWN FOLKS/

DEALT WITH THE PAIN/

AND FLOODING RAIN/

BY WRITING RHYMES AND TELLING JOKES.

--BLACKTHELION

My Showcase

WHAT LIES BENEATH - "A ROAR IN THE WIND."

by blackthelion

ALL MY LIFE  THERE'S BEEN THIS EPISODE WHERE I'VE HAD TO BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION WITHOUT ANY MEDICATION AND AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE IT'S GETTING BIGGER. LIKE IT'S GROWING BEYOND MY CONTROL. THINGS I USE TO LIKE TO DO I HATE TO DO! MY ATTENTION SPAN IS SHORTER AND I FIND IT HARDER TO BE PRESENT WHEN SOME PEOPLE ARE CONVERSATING WITH ME. THE ONLY REASON  WHY I NEVER WANTED TO ACCEPT THE DRUGS WAS BECAUSE OF THE SIDE AFFECTS. I MEAN I WONT BE DEPRESSED BUT I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BRAIN HEMORHAGES ETC. SO IN THIS CAGE I'VE TRIED SMOKING WEED IN ORDER TO CALM MY MIND AND NOT LET CERTAIN FEELINGS PUSH ME INTO THAT PLACE. IT WORKED FOR AWHILE BUT THEN I NEEDED MORE. I WANTED TO FEEL LOOSE AND FREE AND WILD LIKE THAT PERSON I WAS WHEN I WAS HIGH. I COULDN'T SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE TO OTHERS AND I REALLY DIDN'T CARE . I JUST WANTED TO FEEL BETTER. THIS CAGE IS COLD, LONELY AT TIMES EVEN THOUGH OTHERS ARE ALWAYS AROUND. I GET TIRED OF PACING THIS SAME PATH AND THE ONLY THING CHANGING IS TIME. IM GETTING OLDER NOW. I CANT KEEP SUPPRESSING THIS IMBALANCE OF MY MIND. EVENTUALLY LEFT SIDE MUST AGREE WITH RIGHT SIDE, I CANT CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH THIS LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITHIN MYSELF! I GOTTA DO IT...I GOTTA ACCEPT THE DRUGS AND THE SIDE EFFECTS. UNTIL NOW GOD HAS BEEN THE CURE TO THE SYMPTOM THAT HAS BECOME ME BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WHEN IT FEEL LIKE JUST BELIEVING IS NO LONGER ENOUGH? GOD, I NEED TO SEE MORE, TO BE MORE, GAIN AND CONTROL MORE! FINALLY SEE A RETURN ON INVESTMENT IM TIRED OF HEADACHES AND HARD TIMES. WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS? I DONT SEE THEM NO MORE. WHERE ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS? I DONT SEE THEM NO MORE. BUT BEFORE I COULD GIVE UP I WAS EMBRACED BY STRANGERS. I FELT A TEMPORARY PARDON FROM MY CAGE. A COMMERCIAL BREAK IN HEAVEN'S MOVIE. A MOMENTS PEACE. JUST ENOUGH TIME TO GET A SECOND WIND AND TRY AGAIN.--BLACKTHELION 

When its my turn to see God who will give tribute to me? Who'll read the obituary, drop flowers and wish me a peaceful journey?Will my soul rest among the best when they speak of the revolutionary?One day will the kids of the future read about me and you in the library? Tell them to label me a solutionary! Who will miss me when I am gone? I hope they temporarily mourn and move on.Who will listen to my words to get them through? Like, how I needed encouragement and I got that from you! Who will recognize the broken dialect of street fused intellect? And who will collect knowledge from what I do?I hope it's you! Will it be you who will dissect and connect to perfect what was tried and proven true? If this is true,can you say that I am a gift for uplift, and you thankfully praise the giver? Remember me in your thoughts and feelings,when you're alone and it's cold with nothing to hold as you shiver. Hear me say,"Love people and only quote what the realest deliver." What will you read about me in the obituary? I hope it say I was legendary! What stories told, truth unfold, rumors to behold, what lies devised and sold? How long will I live after my flesh returns to dust? What titles,labels and goals will they adjust as they clinch their fist and cuss? Whoever get to Heaven first just put in a word for all of us! If it storm and began to flood as you witness me dying. As the thunder leave my body and my soul wont stop crying. Bless those that loved me and forgive anyone who didn't! soldier on my friend, till the day we all see God sitting!


"Soldier on!" ©®2008Blackthelion™

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